When your eyes meet mine, I lose simple skills.

I'm laying on his chest with the music playing. Stroking my hand down his back during the best part of the song. "I'd like to tell you all I want is now-" and hold tighter. He joins his hands around my waist. Inhale.. and ever so slowly, exhale. I breath in the night air, the smell of his dewy skin, and imagine, if only for a moment, that he is mine.

THIS- is summer?

So- school let out and summer was looking great. My best guy friend was becoming well.. more, and instead of toiling over semester exams in the evenings, i was boating or swimming or shopping or just hanging out. I really thought this was the summer i had been waiting for. Then, it just kind of fell apart. My best guy friend (or maybe more?) is acting really strangely. We BOTH confessed our feelings for eachother, and now.. it's like he goes out of his way to not treat me like a girl. Before, we would hold hands or jokingly caress eachother. now.. i'd be surprised if he looked at me for more then 2 seconds. What is his deal? I know he's not very experienced.. but really??. I'm sick of being the man in this "relationship". He needs to realize that i really do like him. He is SO SO SO insecure. But, he's so funny and awkward and freckly and wonderful.. i wish he'd realize that i like him for him and i don't care that he's not a jock or a ladies man or even a deep thinker.. He's honest and sweet and caring and he'd never hurt me. But by not doing anything, he's hurt me more than he knows. He's a part time lover and a full time friend and i'm ok with that, i guess.. but i need to know if it's going anywhere. i can't waste my time on a dream anymore.. I love him, as a friend and more. I just wish he'd risk something.. Anything- for the chance that we could become us..<3

Hello Interweb.

so.. Last time i had a "blog", i was like.. nine.? (give or take) so i don't really know how this whole thing works :/ I named this blog GaMbLes & Upshots because, I mean, isn't that what life is? We take risks, we get results, and somehow we manage to learn from it. Most of my gambles don't work out, but I have learned a lot.. a lot of twisted ideas about love, friendship, and survival.

For example:
Survival of the fittest. This, my friends, is how the world works. None of this, we're all created equal crap. When it comes down to it, the dominant will always get further. You may be the kindest, purest, smartest person around, but that doesn't really matter. It's about what people take security in. No one is perfect, and it often takes an unworthy person to trick people into following them. The good people of this world want nothing more than to know and love one another, and yet we worship those who don't give a crap about what happens to us. We look up to a CEO of a multi-billion dollar enterprise, or a dumbass actress who would probably shit if she had to walk a day in our shoes. SO why? Why do we look up to them? They trick our minds into believing we'll be happy if we change into second rate versions of them. The world is run by pride. People who would do ANYTHING to prove themselves. And me, being who I am, actually believed they were better.
I will NEVER make that mistake again.
Stay True.